Thurston’s Thoughts
The Coliseum Calls
Retired Ego
Ego is much like an athlete who ignores the whispers of time. Often we only glimpse our self-image by the regression of encounters lacking the admiration we once enjoyed. This internal dissonance is a fatal deception until obvious after the realization is glaring. The face of the sport has become the shame of the competition by tarnishing our legacy when our ego stays too long. Now we are tormented like we had become accustomed to tormenting envy. Father time is undefeated not only in sports but also as a delusion suffered by all those whose ego’s time has passed.
Time cannot be frozen or returned, only relived through highlight reels and tall tales remembering when a great coliseum once stood here. The glory that was once present can only suffer by our complicity yielding to a caliber of circumstances unaccustomed to us at our peak. Keeping it a buck, when we are identified by a standard, the standard becomes synonymous with us. This means when the standard becomes a facade our ego fills the vacuum while we resent it because we ignore the reality we refuse to accept. Vanity and narcissism morphed from a raging ego epitomizes the athlete’s pretentious dilemma of a hollow ego gone rogue.
The Five Rings emphasizes not only the proper weapon applied but the wisest defense. However, vanity is not one of them and pride is the double edged sword that now cuts us more than it used to cut envy when our self-image is now shredded. The secret is the shredding is only in our mind double blindfolded by vanity and narcissism. There is never any shame in not being what we once were especially physically because time is a bandit. Quiet as it is kept, our potential sits like a tub on its own bottom aspiring to be the best we can be because external comparisons are dangerous.
The Five Rings speaks of the void. It is the void that attacks us like the imaginary ghost under the bed existing only in our mind. There are times when life takes a lot out of us but resiliency is the remedy for the peaks and valleys of living. We must only satisfy ourselves thereby attracting those who gravitate towards us by their satisfaction and appreciation of us and ours of them. Life comes with many more flavors than Baskin Robbins, so everyone can choose theirs.
This is not a lesson in sports, combat, or comparisons but a lesson in survival armed with self-love and grace as a work constantly in progress. The lesson is adapting to changing circumstances and conditions while anticipating the countermoves needed to rise above challenges by perspective. Perspective leads to perception manifesting the synchronicities of provisions along the journey towards a destination. Ever notice those who are most judgmental of others are the most dissatisfied with themselves unable to live and let live.
Just as the predator is unbothered by the prey, a triumphant perspective is unbothered by the distractions of derailment. Accordingly, the mind is the lens of perception, it is also the projector of perspective leading to triumph. So, there comes a time when the business of retiring self-defeating internalizations must face the integrity of self-evaluation. The anxiety of what others may or may not be thinking is for them to contemplate instead of our preoccupation with their validation of us.
Even when the referee gets it wrong and the game is over, it is never one play that determined the outcome. We don’t attack the ref, we deal with the outcome and attack our process. Winners never quit and quitters always whine or something like that. It is the pessimism of a loser mentality to think they can whine their way to victory, improvement, or self-acceptance. The power of self-love measured to a full cup has no need for Bounty to absorb the overflow. This messy overflow is vanity and narcissism in need of a retirement without the party. They are the agony preventing the ecstasy of self-esteem and the trumpets of authenticity proclaiming our arrival.
Whether living a memory or a mirage constantly on stage performing an illusion where the applause no longer are the ovations of approval but the kindly deceptions of memoirs refusing to acknowledge the curtain has fell silent. The gladiator’s conquest is not in reminiscing or hallucinating victory but adapting in the great coliseum of life. This arena’s erosion by time and events still echoes the gladiator’s feats of courage against the lions of self-doubt.
Our epithet of euphoric proclamations roars from the core of our self-determination shining for all who would observe them erected by our demonstration, resourcefulness, and resiliency. Victory of self is the only true adversary we will ever face. Sometimes there is no easy way to face it despite it facing us, similar to an athlete’s dilemma. The greater the distortion, the bigger the arena but not full of applause but instead of self-actualization. We must see it in ourselves or as an example to become it. But more importantly, we must stalk it as a persistent transition pursued as an opportunity for the glory and serenity of self-fulfillment.
After all, there are only two alternatives, either be it or fake it keeping in mind the real McCoy can only be exposed as the real McCoy but not as the counterfeit of vanity or narcissism. The burden of being the real deal comes with benefits while the apprehension of faking it might get you there but not keep you there. It most likely will prevent you from even getting there when confronted by a real player. So when the coliseum calls, vanity and narcissism are retired to the agony of defeat. From the ashes of ego rises an alter-ego impervious to defeat, only seeing the victory. Triumph raises above the crowd’s roar for the gladiator who courageously overcome the demons within by challenging the villain of surrender. Life is strange like that but not as much as living as a delusional ego.
Thurston K Atlas
Creating a Buzz
